Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Houston, we have a blender
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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