I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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