"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
