she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just puked most of my soul out..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
