ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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