I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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