he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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