When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
