I accidentally burped into my bong.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize
