The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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