Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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