you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
