Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
