i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
please come you make the beer taste better
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize