so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
