do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
