oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
