so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize