this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
