i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize