I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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