dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
