im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
