so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
