You work out of a Hotel?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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