You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize