are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
