i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The power of my boobs compel you
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
