We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
