my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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