I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
