did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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