I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
