So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
