Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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