Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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