I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
