out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Drake has all the answers
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
