Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
