laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
