I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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