is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so let's talk penis.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm getting married
To pizza
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
