Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
