Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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