I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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