This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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