Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
