I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
