I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
