Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
