**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
