you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
