He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
