I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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