Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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