i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
