There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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